Six months and counting

So it's February now. Crazy. I've been in this place for half a year. It's still cold as ever, but slowly getting better. I've been talking about how I wished it would snow at least once more before winter was over. Today it snowed, and I find myself wishing it would snow again, like 6 inches. But I'm thankful with the couple hours of snow sticking to the ground as it is.

Speaking of thankful, that has been my biggest challenge the couple months. As most people know, the economy sucks. I've never cared about it until I realized how it affected me personally, hah. Working at an overpriced coffee shop doesn't bode well when people no longer have extra cash to be throwing around anymore. Hours have been cut for most baristas working for Starbucks and now I'm being forced to live within my means of having barely enough money to get by. I find it so easy to freak out and get frustrated when I realize I cannot afford to go out and spend money on something fun to do just to unwind from all this financial tension (kind of a conundrum, huh?). Also, this recent economic slam has ruined my plans of transferring to a different Starbucks or finding a new job altogether. I had determined to move on to something new after 6 months of being at my current location if no progress was being made, mostly because working at that store drives me mad. No progress has really been made, but now I'm stuck for the time being. Funny how it works out. Even though I know it's getting tough for everyone, I know God has to be telling me something in this. I no longer have that financial cushion so I'm being forced to trust that he's got my back through all this. Which has ultimately been good. I don't always like it. But I also find it to be the only way to keep me sane.

Another challenge I find in this is keeping myself focused on better, more important things. It's easy to get distracted with all this, but there are other things to be done. I'm continually trying to comprehend more of the purpose of my being here in Portland. Through conversations with different friends I've been told that God's plan in my moving here wasn't to find the perfect job and be comfortable, but to spread his love to the people I come into contact with here. That is the challenge. And the more I learn about myself, the stronger I feel to be able to do that.

Life is crazy, I'm loving it... even with all the kicks to the face and punches to the throat. There really isn't a better way to get my attention.

All I can do is laugh and enjoy the ride.

This is an update.

I've been on my own now for a little more than two months, this freedom I've felt is amazing and liberating. Liberating in the sense that I am released from all that was holding me back from taking those steps in the direction I personally wanted to go in life... to find myself I guess you could say. I have a peace knowing that I am no longer subject to the influence of friends, family and acquaintances that I've known throughout my life. Instead of feeling obligated to appease others, I can focus on those inner desires of mine to grow and flourish in all the areas I was almost afraid to let people see, I suppose. I've always been worried about what people thought of me and the choices I made. Now that I don't have those people around me that I've been so close to, I have the chance to grow without having to worry about any interfering persuasion - not at all to say I'm not grateful for the people placed throughout my life. Of coarse I still have a few people nearby that can keep me in check, which is good for someone so prone to drifting away from reality. I'm just thankful I've been able to draw closer to God through my reading and time spent talking with him. It's helped me to enjoy the days more and appreciate these things I've been given. Peace doesn't seem as unrealistic as it used to any more.

I hate to get involved in politics, but....

Through the political outspokenness of multiple acquaintances online I've been watching videos and reading blogs, etc. on why Sarah Palin would be such a bad choice for our country. The thing that confuses me is that the majority of these accusations have to do with her extensive support for aerial hunting and anything involving her stance on animals. What I don't understand is why this woman being so obsessed with hunting discredits her ability to help run a country. Out of all the horrible things a vice presidential candidate could be doing, killing animals doesn't seem to be the worst thing there is. Is this really that big of a deal or is it just some desperate attempt to tarnish her image? Maybe I'm just not seeing it, but it seems way blown out of proportion to me. If there's something terribly wrong with this woman, I think it would be good for me to know, yes. But I don't see how animal hunting (whether she hunts them cruelly or compassionately) changes the way she will affect my state of being as a US citizen. I've never fully comprehended the animal rights movement, and I don't believe I ever will; which I think is why this confuses me so much. Because I can't see how animal rights and human right are interrelated.

I'm sure I will be seeing plenty more reasons why not to vote for this person or that in the next few months. I just don't plan on voting period. I'm not interested in voicing who I think should run our country. That's not up to me. I'm fine with sitting back and simply watching this all unfold. Personally, I think it's much more enjoyable that way.

Weekend Exploring

Sarah, Mallory and I went on a big adventure around Portland this weekend. They were up visiting from Simi so I took them around to see how great this place is. Mallory really wanted to find this volcano she heard about, so we did our best to search around and see what we could find. It turns out it's Mt. Tabor park. And it turns out the crater we were searching for wasn't really there; if it was then we didn't find it. We hiked to a place that we were satisfied considering the top, then climbed back down to go find some lunch. It was awesome getting to see familiar faces and have a good time with friends from California. Now I know some good places to have a picnic.

Check out the highlights in my Facebook album.

This is Post One

Hello world. I've been told I'd be good at blogging. I do have profound thoughts from time to time. Much of the time my thoughts are tainted with overthinking, excessive attempts at grandeur, and silliness. If the thought gets past those filters, it most likely gets swallowed up by my enslavement to self-consciousness. We will see if anything good comes of this. I hope my thoughts intrigue you rather than insult you. And if it insults you, let's hope it's for the betterment of us all.